Why did I start my journey?

Many people wonder what made me start my "spiritual" journey to examining the foundations of my faith. For most of my life I have been a person full of questions. I always wanted to know the "why" of things. For a long time I accepted what pastors, preachers, and teachers said about the why. But, a couple of years ago - really when it came time to teach spiritual truths to my children, I realized just how shallow my knowledge of the "whys" really was. I didn't want my children to just "believe", I wanted them to know.
The second thing that started me on my journey was how broadly the term "christian" was used. It seemed that everyone was a christian - irregardless of the lifestyle that they led. Some were quite radical in their beliefs, others were rocking the mic in a club on Saturday, then rocking the mic in church Sunday morning. Some walked three steps behind their husband, others brought their latest boyfriend to church and sat on the front row. Some believed in hell other didn't, some believed in speaking on tongues, some believed in talking to the dead. There just seemed to be no "rules".
So, I sat on a journey to find out what God actually said about who was a "christian" and what it took to be a part of His family. My journey started easy enough - I consumed quite a few "christian" books, blogs, and videos. While some really spoke to some of my "whys", others tended to leave me more confused. It seemed that so many were simply making things up as they went. I never realized one bible verse could have so many different interpretations! There were a number of things simply inferred, but never recorded anywhere in the bible - could this really be okay. I realized I needed to go a bit deeper and a bit broader in my search.
Oh boy! Has this become quite the journey! I found out everything I thought to be a "given" actually wasn't at all. I found out what I "believed" about everything from the bible to "Jesus" was - while based on some truth, actually grounded in much more myth and lie. I never know the bible was a collection of books decided upon by a group of men from the Roman Catholic Church - and not a book that had been set in stone since the time "Jesus" had walked the earth. Even from the time of the Nicene Council - books and been added and taken away. I had no idea the letters of the "New Testament" had been found intact, all had been found in Greek - which none of the disciples spoke, and there were extreme differences between the various letters that had been found. I had no idea entire books and chapters were added to various NT letters after Constantine took over the Catholic church. I had no idea there were other letters that were rejected, not because they didn't have as much "authenticity" as the NT letters, but because they didn't agree with the tenets of the church at the time. It wasn't until I got my copy of the 1611 King James Version of the bible that I saw "Jesus'" name wasn't even presented at "Jesus", but "Iesus" and that there was no letter "J" in Hebrew or Greek or even English at the time. The letter "J" didn't come into the English language until the 1500's, and wasn't widely used until the late 1600's. Even the name I had called upon to the "saved" was made up!
I had no idea how I even came to view the bible was skewed by Marcion - a man with such crazy views he was eventually excommunicated from the Catholic church as a heretic. Yes, the concept of an "Old Testament" and a "New Testament" came from Marcion - not James, John, or even "Jesus". Marcion believed there was an "evil" God of the "Old Testament" and a "good" God of the "New Testament". It was shocking because that is the view of many christians today. They won't say it straight out, they may not even be able to verbalize it. However, this view rears its head when you say you live your life by the Torah. I am often asked "why do you want to be under the law" or "why do you want to stay in bondage"? That's funny, the Torah was given to Moses after God set them FREE from bondage- why would the Torah be considered bondage? I am told that "Jesus freed us from the "law". The Torah isn't seen as a loving gift from a loving Father - it is seen as slavery and bondage to an angry God that "Jesus" came to free us from. That view didn't come from Yahshua (the actual name of "Jesus"), that view came from Marcion.
The more I studied, the more shocked and angry I became. I realized the prophet Jeremiah was right. Here I was myself, repeating the words Jeremiah predicted I would say:
Jeremiah 16: 19- 20
O YHWH, my strength and my stronghold and my refuge, in the day of distress the nations shall come to You from the ends of the earth and say, "Our fathers have inherited only falsehood, futility, and there is no value in them." Would a man make mighty ones (gods) for himself, which are not might ones (gods).
Yes, I realized I had, in fact, inherited lies and unprofitable things from people that had created their own god (based on the Hebrew scriptures, but definitely not the same god). It would take a lot of work, a lot of digging - to find the truth hidden inside the web of had inherited. If you are interested in continuing to read as I post on this journey - you will discover what I have found and continue to learn.

Great resources for your own Journey!

I know many of the things I post can seem a bit "heavy"; they fly completely in the face of what I had been taught for over 30 years as a Christian. It seems harsh and a bit unreal - so, where did I get my information?

I have been studying a number of different resources over the past year or so to come to where I am in my journey. It started with me trying to find the "truth" of my Christian faith. I wondered heavily about what the foundations of Christianity really were. When I still wasn't satisfied (or had more questions develop), I kept my search going. I would like to share with you many of the resources I utilized in my journey. There are a lot! I took this life changing journey very seriously. I am also no where near finished with this journey. I am confident in where I am going, even though it is taking me to a very different place than I expected when I started! I went looking for my "Christian roots" and instead - found the One, Truth, and Living God. I hope at least one person will be compelled to take a walk through the foundations of their faith as well.

Scriptures or Bibles:
The Scriptures from Instititute for Scripture Research
The Complete Jewish Bible
The Geneva Bible
The Amplified Bible
1611 King James Version
If you were to get just one, I would recommend highly The Scriptures. It restores the Name of God and Yahoshua into Hebrew making reading easier. It also brings back the names of all individuals in the scripture to their original Hebrew. This is important because everyone's name had a meaning. Those meanings were stripped from individuals when their names were forced into Greek, meaning we miss some of what God was trying to tell us. For instance, Yahoshua means "Yah is salvation".

Websites:
Yada Yahweh website is filled with an amazing amount of information. The most beneficial is a more accurately translation of  Scripture from the Hebrew as well as a solid history of the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim religions. http://yadayahweh.com/

This "Questioning Paul" Website brings under scrutiny some of the writings of Paul with an interesting contrast between the writings of Paul and the words of Yahoshua:  http://questioningpaul.com/Questioning_Paul-Galatians-00-Letter_to_the_Reader.Paul

This site has many different article and also some mp3 files that can be downloaded to listen to come great commentary on the 10 Commandments!  http://www.blessyahowah.com/

Books:
Todd Bennett's Walk in the Light Series. Not all the books are published yet, but the ones that are have been amazing. The ones I have read so far are:
Restoration Names, Kosher, the Messiah, Redeemed, The Law and Grace, and the Sabbath

Should Christians be Torah Observant by Carmen Welker

Come Out of Her My People by C. J. Koster

The Original Faith by Normal B. Willis (this really puts to rest the myth that the first followers of Yahoshua were "Christians", they weren't; the original faith would look more like a Messianic Kararite Jew)

Our Father Abraham: Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith by Marvin R. Wilson

The Feasts of the Lord: God's Prophetic Calendar from Calvary to the Kingdom by Kevin Howard and Marvin Rosenthal

God's Appointed Customs: A Messianic Jewish Guide to the Biblical Lifecycle and Lifestyle by Barney Kasdan

Movies: Constantine's Sword; the History of the Bible, God in America

This list is not exhaustive of everything I have studied thus far and it doesn't include many things on my shelf waiting to be explored. I just felt it necessary to show people that I haven't taken my journey lightly. I didn't come to my amazing conclusions on a whim, and I wouldn't make such a great leap of change in my walk with God were it not backed up by a lot of research. The big thing is once you start to unpeel the onion - you need to see more and more. It is a heartbreaking, but fulfilling experience. I promise you will never be the same, and you won't regret it for one minute!

So, what do you celebrate?

2011 was my first year to NOT celebrate Christmas, and that caught some people off guard. When I said I was going to be obedient to God, and do those things He commanded alone - that caught folks even more off guard. One thing many Christians point out is that God and Yahoshua (well, they say Jesus) did it all and we don’t have to “earn” salvation. I agree, we don’t have to “earn” salvation, we can’t earn salvation. However, I am not craving simply “salvation”, I am craving relationship. I get that I am going to heaven and will have eternal life with Yahowah through the work of Yahoshua and the Set Apart Spirit – got it. However, I am not living in “eternal life” right now – I am here, on earth, in the flesh – and I crave some face-to-face time with my Father, the Creator of the universe. Amazingly, the Scriptures are clear that He craves the exact same thing – time with me. He gave a promise in His Word, there were so specific times on His calendar that he would make a “date” and any of His children that would – if we showed up, He would be there too.

Now, He is God – perfect, pure, and unblemished. So, there are some things that need to be finagled in order for us to occupy the same space. Unlike the “Occupy Wall Street” protestors, I can just show up with my tent, my trash, and my mess and expect Him to ignore the stink and settle in for some “us” time. In His Torah we find the things that help make us “ready” for the visit.

Being the amazing and loving God that He is – He gave each and every one of these times a theme. How cool is that! Each theme celebrates a particular aspect of the plan of salvation He put in place at the beginning of time. Each “date” each Set Apart Time we will be re-enacting or dress rehearsing for an part of the plan that gets us to the final destination – eternity. Think about that – every year He is having me act out the reminder of our path to the final step, how sweet it is to be loved by Yah!

Now, I know some people say “well, I don’t need special times, God is always with me”. To that I say “good for you!” However, I live on planet earth and we do things a little different here. For instance, I LOVE my husband, I mean LOVE Him. While we are always together (we have spent just a handful of nights apart since we have been married) I still look forward to “date night”. And I spend months anticipating things like our anniversary. While we are “always together”, there is something thrilling about celebrating a special moment.  I am also a mother. Again, I am always with my kids – but I spend months anticipating their birthdays. I am busy buying gifts, planning meals, thinking about themes for a party and their cake. It doesn’t belittle every day that we are “together” but they have learned to anticipate those dates as much as I do. It’s a time set aside – oh, imagine that!

Just like my kids can’t quite keep from shouting for joy at the mere thought of their birthday arriving, I now feel the same way about God’s Set Apart Times. I know the theme, I know the dates, I just wonder what awesome things He has planned for these moments. I don’t know and I don’t care – all I know is that He is showing up and I would be a fool not to be there as well! Many people have tried to create their own times. They celebrate Christmas, Easter, Lent – heck, I have seen churches declare their own “revivals”. Okay. However, as much as my kids enjoy their birthday – they don’t get to move the date around as they wish. I don’t care if they sit at the kitchen table wearing a pointy hate and sign 10 rousing renditions of “Happy Birthday to Me” – if it’s not the date marked on the calendar, there will be no cake, no party, no gifts. And there is no way my husband would be willing to move our anniversary to the date of my first date with my high school sweetheart (you know, like how Christians “moved” the date of birth of Yahoshua to “coincide” with the Winter Solstice). Nope, God sets the calendar and I for one will be showing up for each and every party!

Now, I don’t have nearly enough insight to determine if you can be with Him for eternity if you don’t accept His schedule here on earth, that isn’t my concern at all. The point it – there were seven Set Apart Times He created and told us to meet Him there – every year. He told us He would show up for each of them, every time. Everything He has done on earth with Yahoshua and the Set Apart Spirit were done during His Set Apart Times that have been fulfilled (Passover, Unleavened Bread, First Fruits, and Seven Sevens) – why on earth (yes, while you are here on earth) would you risk not being there for the last three appointed times yet to be fulfilled (Trumpets, Reconciliation, and Tabernacles).

We are to celebrate each feast annually – to remind us of what He has done and what He will do. He is a God of His Word and He told us He would be there. The question is, will you?

Torah, Torah, Torah Part 2

The next area I will discuss is that of dietary laws. Now, many of my Christian friends declare that God did away with dietary laws when He gave Peter the dream about eating unclean animals. Of course, only people that don’t actually read their bible would believe that. Yes, Peter had a dream about unclean foods being set before him and that God told Peter that nothing He made was unclean. However Peter, having walked with Yahoshua himself, realized he needed some clarification. So, he ASKED for the meaning of the dream. The answer he got wasn’t “oh, I was just letting you know I did away with the dietary laws”. No, the dream was in response to a Jewish man made custom of not entering into the home of non-Jews. Yahowah clearly told Peter there was a non-Jew that loved Him and needed some instruction – God was sending Peter to the man to instruct him on the ways of following God. God was saying that PEOPLE are not “clean” or “unclean” based on their racial or cultural make-up – it is the heart and the ways of a man that determines whether or not he belongs to God, not His DNA. How people got eating pig, bat, rat, and horse were now good from that Scripture I will never know.

No, one doesn’t have to be “legalistic” about what we eat, we can simply ponder and study why God made the dietary rules He did to discover if they still need to be followed. There is ample information to know that God, who made all the animals, knew exactly what He was doing when He decided between “clean” and “unclean” animals. He also was clear in not eating things that had been sacrificed to idols (where the pronouncement to not eating a lamb boiled in its mother’s milk comes from). Now, will eating unclean animals make you unfit for eternal life? I don’t think so, but I am not the final authority on who goes where after death. However, scientific research today is conclusive that every animal deemed “unclean” by Yahowah in the Torah is a food that isn’t fit for human consumption. Many illnesses that we battle with today are a direct result of eating unclean foods, with pig being one of the worst culprits. God is smarter than man, no matter what we think. He came up with some very good instructions and it is up to us to decide whether or not we chose to follow them.

However, whether one follows the dietary guidelines established by Yahowah in His Torah isn’t the issue, it is knowing them and understanding why they are there and what He was saying that we must ponder. Now, I have heard the concept that the dietary laws were put into place because there wasn’t refrigeration back then. However, this statement is intellectually dishonest – okay, it’s just stupid! While refrigeration is great, drying of meat and salt preservation are 1000% better. So, there was a way of preserving meat and not getting sick. So no, God wasn’t saying don’t eat pork or bat or horse until man invents the GE frost free freezer.

The designation between clean and unclean animals is just that – some animals are clean and some animals are NOT clean. In fact, exactly the animals He said were clean are clean – He didn’t make any mistakes. What makes pigs unclean is the nature of the pig and the purpose the pig serves on the earth. Pigs are garbage dumps. No matter how “clean” we try to make them by free range farming or feeding them a corn based diet – they will still eat ANYTHING. I have seen reports of cancerous pigs needed to be separated from other pigs (all still going to slaughter for human consumption mind you) because the pigs will eat the tumors right off of their fellow pigs. Not only are pigs nasty, their digestive systems are simple. A simple digestive system is NOT good for cleaning. Because pigs have such a simple digestive simple, insects, worms, and other parasites that rest in their digestive tracts are still there – alive, well, and kicking after they go to slaughter. These parasites continue to live through the slaughtering process. In fact, they survive through much of our cooking processes; it takes a pork chop being cooked dry and burnt for those parasites to die. This isn’t the case for a cow. The cow’s digestive system is so complex that even a cow fed a corn based diet (which tends to harbor ecoli bacteria), if fed a grass based diet (otherwise known as the food they were created to eat) for seven days before slaughter – all that ecoli bacteria would be processed out of their body before slaughter. Unfortunately, many of the food manufacturers in the US love money so much they won’t feed cows grass for seven days before slaughter – which is why we still have many ecoli outbreaks even in beef. Which tells us a lot – including man is so stupid we even have the ability to turn what God made clean into something unfit for human consumption.  The point is, Yahowah didn’t create these instructions to punish you – He designed them out of His love for you and being a Loving Father He is giving you good advice to live by. You can ignore Him if you like, it won’t keep you out of eternal life; however, you should really consider “why” you are choosing to ignore Him.

As for unclean fish – oh man. Believe me, seafood is yummy. Well, it was until I really started to study what the big deal was in eating things like catfish and shrimp. Again, these creatures were designed to be garbage dumps and help to keep the oceans, rivers, and streams clean. They keep them clean by eating all the crap that falls into them. And again, they also have uncomplicated digestive systems. So simple that you can open the back of a shrimp and get a good look at its digestive system. It’s all black with filth – filth that is still sitting in there as you take a big bite. As I found this information out I asked myself a simple question – if someone told me roaches tasted good, would I be tempted to take a bite? No! Then why was I so quick to drop the instructions of my loving Father because shrimp taste good? They eat the exact same diet as roaches, crap! Again, eat whatever you want, but don’t allow any religious leader to keep you away from understanding the absolute love and GRACE Yahowah was providing for us in His Torah. He wanted His children healthy, strong, and full of life.

Then there is food sacrificed to idols. Think we don’t have to worry about that today – think again! Just Google “halel meat” and see how many of your local grocers carry it. Some won’t even label it as such. Also, check some of the logos your favorite foods are wearing. Everyone who knows me knows I drank a Starbucks Mocha Frappucino EVERYDAY for over seven years. That all stopped when I found out the truth of their logo. I was surprised when I found out that innocent looking bare chest lady was really a pagan goddess. Yes, look it up for yourself (you need to do some of this work yourself). Now, some people will say that it doesn’t make a difference now and we can eat whatever we want. However, why not spend some time with Yahowah and figure out why He didn’t want you eating foods sacrificed to idols. I choose not to consume foods boldly dedicated to idols (like Starbucks) because my goal is not to enrich those who willingly chose to stick their middle finger up at God and mock Him openly.

And, just to be clear – eating as Yahowah advised in the Torah is NOT the same as eating Kosher. Kosher dietary laws added immensely to the words of Yahowah. They added burdens on to the people and turned loving advice from the Father into mindless rituals having nothing to do with relationship. This is why you must read the Torah for yourself and find what Yahowah had to say to you.

Torah, Torah, Torah Part 1

Yes, here is the difference between where I am and what I do and probably 99% of all Christians. I believe the Torah of God is perfect and wonderful and wasn’t done away with the work of Yahoshua on the upright pillar. I know, I know – this is the exact opposite of everything you have ever been told. However, I have Scripture for my conclusion. I know, I know – you have Saul/Paul. Well, it seems we have to decide if we are going to believe Yahoshua and Yahowah or if we are going to believe Paul. Me, I think I will stick with God Himself.

I think the first thing to do is to look at what is “Torah”; contrary to popular belief Torah doesn’t mean “law” – it means instructions and commands for living. It was pertinent advice that God gave to man so that we would know how to have success in this life and be prepared to live with Him in eternity. I was always told as a Christian that the Torah was hard, oppressive, unforgiving, and imperfect. I never considered the irony of that stupid statement – the Torah was given ONLY to the people of God. It wasn’t exclusive, anyone who wanted to join with the people of God needed only to follow the Torah as well – and they too were considered one of God’s children. Why would God give His own children something oppressive that could never be followed? I never took the time to actually read the Torah, I just believed the words of pastors, preachers, teachers, and fellow Christians.  It wasn’t until I actually started on my journey that I found out 1) What the Torah was, 2) What God said to do with it, and 3) What it really contained.

When you spend a bit of time reading the Torah, you find immediately how silly it is to believe it was “done away with” by the work of Yahoshua.  Let’s take a look at what the Torah really discusses. The Torah discusses our relationship with God – how we are to present ourselves to Him, how we are to relate to Him, how we are to interact with Him. The second thing the Torah does is discuss how we are to interact with our fellow man – those in covenant relationship with God and those outside of covenant relationship with God. Why would that be done away with? For instance, the only place incest, child molestation, and rape are dealt with in the Scriptures is in the Torah – it specifically says “don’t do that”. If the Torah was done away with, what does that mean for these things? Also, there are some things that aren’t forbidden according to Torah – like drinking alcohol; however, you will find many Christian denominations that forbid the consumption of alcohol.

The first thing many jump to when discussing the Torah is the animal sin sacrifices – well, if you actually read the Torah there is only one authorized place for animal sacrifices – in the Temple in Jerusalem. So, no temple – no animal sacrifices. However, when we are told to “keep” the Torah – the word “keep” means to think about, consider, ponder, and understand. Those in Yahowah’s family should absolutely know the sacrifices, what they were, and why there were done. You cannot understand the work of Yahoshua without understanding the sacrifices. What did those sacrifices mean? What did they represent? What things needed sacrifices? How were those sacrifices to be offered? By studying those things we understand more about God, what He wants, what He requires, what His character is like.

When it comes to some things we consider controversial in the Torah, it definitely takes us pondering and thinking – let’s look at some of those things.  One such area is that of multiple wives. First, Yahowah never commanded multiple wives. What His Torah says is that if one is going to take an additional wife – she MUST be taken care of financially, have a home, and get appropriate “conjugal” visits. Basically – a man was not allowed to collect women as trophies and not take care of them or leave them in despair, one could not take a wife to punish her or treat her wrongly. However, when we read the ENTIRE Torah (considered the first five books of Moses) we see God showed us very clearly what happens when a man takes additional wives. In EVERY case – one wife was wonderful and multiple wives caused multiple problems. God was showing us clearly that if man chooses to think himself some sort of super hero and take on more than one wife – it will be nothing but heartache and pain. God showed us the pattern for a perfect marriage – Adam and Hawwah. Even when Hawwah led Adam to fall, God didn’t say “okay lady – I’m going to make Him another woman who will fill his needs better” – nope, they stayed together in the good times and the bad as one unit. Also, the whole “therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” loses its touch when you start taking more than one wife – you already left your parents, how does one do that again? In the Torah, a man was supposed to have one year free from work and even military service to dedicate to getting to know his new bride. That cannot happen when one takes multiple wives because he is still required to provide food, clothing, housing, and sex to all his wives. See – when we actually read the Torah we see that even in His instructions He gives us free will. And, that free will may just lead to our destruction – take more than one wife if you wish, but it won’t end pretty. God was just declaring that if you do chose more than one wife – you had darn sure better take care of ALL of His wonderful daughters. Now, some will try to point out that all of the “important” men in the Scriptures had more than one wife – okay. What God did through Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Moses, David, etc. wasn’t about “them” it was about Him. God had a plan and that plan was going to be done – in spite of the imperfections of men. It also proves that God never required perfection for relationship.

 

It’s funny that the two areas of Torah that many have the biggest problem with are Set Apart Times and dietary rules. I will never understand the rejection of the Sabbath. The Sabbath was to be a continuous reminder of the plan of God 6 + 1, six days of work and one day of rest. It shows us that we cannot work our way into eternity, only God can give us eternity. It also reminds us weekly that the work of God was completely at the foundation of the world. It reminds us to consider that He rested because He was finished – He did it ALL, it is done, there is nothing more to be done. It also reminds us that He is God and we are not. If we belong to Him than we do what He says. There were very few rules associated with the Sabbath in the Torah (there are hundreds of rules in the Jewish Talmud, but that is not the Torah). To reject the Torah is to reject the plans of God. And if God was going to change the Sabbath, I am pretty confident He would have written extensively about it. The early “church” still honored the Sabbath until Constantine took over the Christian religion. In order to appease pagans and get them to join the Christian religion, the Sabbath was changed to coincide with the “holy” day of the pagans – Sunday, the day of sun god worship. Yes, the New Testament says the disciples met together on the first day of the week – what does that have to do with what God said? Is this a relationship with God or man? In Acts, the disciples also clearly indicated people were expected in the synagog on the Sabbath - indicating they still adhered to the Sabbath, but that is neither here nor there. God said the Sabbath was to be a continuous sign and he declared that at the foundation of the earth. He blessed it and declared it “Set Aside” and to change it is to spit in His face. Trying to change the Sabbath is akin to the act of changing His personal name to “Lord” and changing the name of Yahoshua to “Jesus” – man did that to try and prove Himself equal to God. To follow it is to follow man and not God.