I recently read a survey on "the most hated jobs in America" (via yahoo news). One common theme that frustrated individuals was "no room for growth". This was not so much shocking, but sad. It showed just how backwards our world has become. In America today, many peoples feelings of self worth are tied into their job and how "high up" they have been able to climb. This is unhealthy for several reasons.
The first reason this is unhealthy is because a job is a business contract between an individual and an organization. An organization that was created to make a profit by filling some need or niche. This is important because if one of those things stops happenings (profits or filling needs), the company is required to make changes, some of which may include laying off an employee, dropping salary, eliminating jobs, or relocating in an effort to reduce costs. If those interim steps don't work, the company may shut down altogether. Since this is an ever present risk, why would we tie our feelings of self worth, achievement, and accomplishment to this possibly temporary life experience?
The second reason it isn't good to tie your personal feelings of worth and and satisfaction to your employer is due to the fact that apart from choosing to accept the job or reject it, you get little choice in the actual individuals that make up your work environment. Due to bad hiring practices, nepotism, and a number of other situations - you could end up working for and/or with a jerk. More than a jerk, these individuals can be down right bullies and create an emotionally abusive and hostile work environment. I know people who although they would never enter an abusive marriage, stay in just as an abusive work environment. I get that we all need to eat and sometimes we don't get a chance to break away from a bad work environment, but that doesn't mean you should had over your most intimate emotions and your emotional stability to others you had absolutely no control in choosing to have such a role in your life.
A final thing that was disturbing was the focus on the "opportunity for growth", but growth is more often defined as more money, a better title, and a bigger office. For your professional life's work to be defined in dollars and square footage is sad, mainly because it makes your akin to nothing more than a harlot. The number of people will to wave ever increasing dollar bills in your face tells the world how "good" your are, really? Some of the individuals who have made the most amazing professional contributions to our world weren't necessarily rolling dough - especially at the times they made those contributions. Einstein didn't go to work for the people that paid him the most, but the ones that allowed him the most opportunity to reach professional greatness and impact the world. Dr. George Washington Carver didn't open a bidding war for his expertise, he followed the need. Their worth was internal to themselves and they saw their jobs as an opportunity to be contribute, they didn't allow their jobs to define them and they certainly didn't need to be lap dogs for others, craving external acknowledgement that they were indeed "somebody".
However, the saddest part about this ever increasing phenomenon is that instead of our worth being tied to the people and things that matter, its tied to impersonal business deals, contracts, and employment negotiations. You get to choose your spouse, your friends, and even get to determine the level of relationship you will have with extended family members - wouldn't it make more sense to invent emotional energy into these areas. People often times are willing to sacrifice their marriage and especially their children on the alter or work in hopes of "growth" or a promotion. These same people are then shocked when they get laid off after twenty years - which is usually once those same children whom they barely noticed as they climbed the corporate ladder have left the nest. Its only then that they realized that made the wrong choice. Companies come and go, but relationships "can" live forever. However, they can only live forever in a healthy way if you invest the necessary time, energy, in effort into making them and keeping them healthy. That might mean sacrificing some material wants as you don't put in overtime for a few more dollars. That might mean turning down a promotion that will keep you from seeing your own family for weeks at a time. That might mean taking a job for less pay, but more flexibility. That might mean choosing a healthier work environment - even though it means a less fancy title and prestige.
I am not saying "don't work". Not everyone gets the choice to walk away from their day job to focus on their family. However, once the basics are taken care of, think twice about the things you are doing in order to rise up the ranks in an organization. Is that raise worth it? How much is time with your children worth? How much is a healthy relationship with your spouse worth? How much is your own emotional stability worth? Wouldn't you rather find your peace in the people you have chosen to be in your life, rather than constantly seeking the approval of those who have been assigned to you?
Its funny, this is one of the reasons we chose to home school (not that these should be the choice for everyone). We didn't want our children's lives to revolve around people randomly assigned to them - either as teachers or classmates. We wanted the ability to choose healthy environments for our children to learn in - with teachers we could determine in advanced had not only the knowledge, but the skills to pass on that knowledge to our children in a healthy way. We wanted to be able to choose if an experience with others children was healthy - yes, children will run into bullies and jerks in all kinds of environments. However, what we get to teach our children is they have a choice. If that bully is causing your physical pain or emotional harm - you can quit - you can remove yourself from that situation. Having read too many stories of children that chosen to take their own lives because they couldn't get away from the assigned bully, I embrace and stand by our decision. Having seen many, many adults suffer greatly from bullies and jerks in the workplace - feeling frozen in an unhealthy work environment, not realizing they can quit, they can walk away, that their own lives are more important than money - I again embrace the skills we are imparting in our children from the beginning.
Having started my own journey, where I walked away from the prestige, the money, the titles, and the accolades to embrace my family and the important roles in my life as wife and mother (even with a PhD), I am here to proclaim their is life after the rat race. While I'm not getting that big fat direct deposit every two weeks, my payments come more frequently and have a more lasting value. Watching my children grow, learn, and experience life is something I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world. Being able to support my husband while he supports me back trumps any "contract" - we have covenant which never fails. I think I just might be the richest woman in America today.
