Lost in Translation

In my last blog posting, I recommended that some people throw their bible in the trash. I wasn’t kidding. It isn't that I think the Word of YHWH isn’t accurate, relevant, inspired, perfect, and true – it’s that many of the translations of men are not. Some of the problems are unintentional – man is flawed and limited. Some of the flaws of man is that, well – many people are evil. That is one of the reasons why so many English translations are so poor, it is a wonder anyone could ever find YHWH from reading them. They could read the book from cover-to-cover and never once see the name of God, when knowing His Name is a big part of salvation. The other flaw of English translations is the English language itself. The Scriptures were originally given by God in Hebrew, a language perfectly suited to convey the perfect, multilayer, dense, and amazing Words of YHWH. It takes entire paragraphs in English to convey the real meaning behind one or two very important Hebrew words. Hebrew is dynamic, with messages being timeless – so when YHWH gave one promise to one individual, the promise would be timeless and open to any individual to come into covenant relationship with Him. This is why the fallacy of two covenants or an “old” covenant and a “new” covenant are so devastating – the Word of YHWH was always timeless and across generations. Hebrew was originally a pictorial language and seeing some of the attempts to recreate those pictographs is amazing, we get to see the perfection of the Word and how YHWH had His ultimate plan in place from the very beginning.

Some of the biggest problems with English translations of the bible is that they aren’t translations of the original Hebrew scriptures, they are translations of the Latin Vulgate, which was a translation of the Greek Septuagint.  Why is that a problem? Well, Greek is not Hebrew for one. The second is that the Greek Septuagint wasn’t a pure translation from Hebrew. The first reason is that because some Hebrew words could not be translated into Greek – including the name of God, YHWH (or Yahoshua or the Set Apart Spirit). As a result, divine placeholders were put in place to let people know the names had not be translated. However, those placeholders were eventually removed and other names (some pagan and some simply made up) were put into those places. The second problem is that Greece and the Greek language had a history of something called “Hellenism”. This is the practice of taking lots of different religions and blending them together. This is why when you open your King James bible and read Numbers 23:22, Job 39:9, and even Psalm 29:6 you will see the word “unicorn”. You will not find the word “unicorn” in Hebrew, because unicorns exist only in Greek mythology. In a bible translated from Hebrew you will find the word “wild ox” or simply “ox”. However, the Greek Septuagint was filled with Greek mythology and paganism mixed in with Hebrew Scripture. So, when someone tells you the King James Bible is the most “accurate” translations, they are talking about the best translation from the Greek and they are talking about a book which isn’t simply about the Hebrew God, the Creator of the universe who was kind enough to extend to all humanity a chance of eternal life and relationship; they are talking about a book that mixed this Hebrew God in with some Greek gods, some sun god worship, and a bit of paganism. I know, it’s hard to swallow – look it up for yourself.

One HUGE problem that can be find in most English bibles is the disturbing act of translating from Hebrew, then transliterating from Greek names found in the Scripture. See, words are translated – that means a word in one language is given an equivalent word in the new language. For instance, we translate the Spanish word “uno” into “one” in English. However, names are supposed to be transliterated. That means the name stays the same, it is just spelled in such a way that it can be accurately pronounced in the new language. So a Spanish man named Eduardo will still be called Eduardo in English; we don’t go and change his name to Edward. However, all through the Bible Hebrew individuals were stripped of their Hebrew and God given name and given a Greek name. The first time this was done with an individual was Hawwah. Hawwah was Adam’s wife, her name means “life giver”. Instead of transliterating her name so it could be accurately spoken in Greek, then English – they simply renamed her “Eve”, which means “life giver” in Greek. However, instead of translating her name as “Life Giver” into English, they then began again to transliterate. So, we adamantly call her by a Greek name as if that is the one given to her by her husband. The problem with not transliterating her name is that part of her name, Hawwah, is also a part of God’s Name YHWH (pronounced Yahowah). See, if we could say “Hawwah” we could easily say God’s true and personal name “Yahowah”. This stripping of Hebrew names took place throughout the bible, including with the names of books of the bible. For instance, the book in English known as “Exodus” is really the book “Shemoth”. Ironically, Shemoth does NOT mean “Exodus”, it means NAMES! God was so adamant about the importance on names he had Mosheh (that would be Moses in your English bible) let us know the book should be called Names. Instead, in arrogance that could only come from Greece and Rome itself – they stripped the Scriptures of the significance of names – see the problem?

The problem with stripping people of the Hebrew names they were given is that it stripes away some of the very clear messages YHWH was trying to give us. For instance, Yahoshua is the name of the ha Ma'aseyah. That is right, it isn’t “Messiah”, it is ha Ma’aseyah, which means the “Work of Yah”. Yahoshua means “Yah saves” – that message isn’t conveyed in the slightest through the Greek and Latin made of name of Iesus which was later changed to “Jesus”. We know the name Jesus is completely made up since the letter “J” didn’t exist until the 1500’s. In fact, if they were going to translate the name of Yahoshua into English as spoken today (and anytime after the 1550's) – His name would be rendered Joshua (exactly as Joshua, son of Nun). At least if they would have done that it would have been much easier for people to transition to His actual name of Yahoshua. Instead, as I have been told by many they aren’t willing to “give us their Jesus”.  To that, I have to say you can hold on to whatever name you want, just don’t think that YHWH has to respect human corruptions of His Word – especially those that were done intentionally to disrespect Him, mock Him, and test Him. The name changes were not done out of ignorance, they were done out of arrogance. They were done because man thought himself equal enough to God to change His Name, the Name of His Son, and the name of anyone else they chose. Unlike the scene in roots, where Kunta Kentee finally relinquishes from the beating and declares that his name is indeed Toby; God will do NO SUCH THING! He gave us His Name, YHWH (pronounced Yahowah), 7,000 times in Scripture. He told us His Son would come in HIS NAME, Yahoshua is coming in the name of Yahowah; Jesus has absolutely NO connection to Yahowah.

My advice to you is to look up for yourself and verify the things I have written. My best advice is to visit the website Yada Yahweh http://www.yadayahweh.com/ to get some of the best and well researched information in regards to the Scriptures you can find. The next thing is that as you are probably at the mercy of English translations of the Scriptures for now – find some that were translated from the original Hebrew for what is commonly called the “Old Testament” and those based on Aramaic and Hebrew origins of the Greek for the “New Testament”. However, be aware that the “New Testament” has a lot of translation issues among other pretty big issues. Advice again – start with the BEGINNING of your Bible – in Genesis (Bereshith). I would recommend getting a copy of The Scriptures, a translation of the bible from the Institute for Scripture Research. The http://www.halleluyahscriptures.com/ scriptures would be even better and can be downloaded for free on your computer. Get truth. It will make you uncomfortable, stretch you, and you will end up questioning everything. Good! In the end you will realize the God really is the Creator of the universe, He had a plan for your salvation from the beginning, and you can KNOW HIM!

Stolen Identity

I would like to report a crime. This is a crime of the greatest case of identity theft to ever be perpetuated on mankind. This crime was absolutely heinous and the groups that did it pretty much got away with it - mostly. It would be wrong for me not to do my part to try and correct this crime against humanity - so here goes.
Remember the movie "the Net" with Sandra Bullock? Remember how with one keystroke her identity was completely wiped away - taking from her all the things that made her unique, that said to the world that she did indeed exist? That happened in real life to someone I know. It wasn't recent, it happened before computers; it can't be contributed to an innocent keystroke error. This crime took place well over 2,000 years ago.
The One whose identity was stripped was not a man, it was the identity of God Himself. Not only did this happen once, it has been happening continuously and it needs to stop.
The first time this crime was committed, it was done by Jewish Rabbi's. They created a false myth, found no where in Scripture, that the name of God was not to be spoken. This commandment against speaking God's proper name cannot be found anywhere in Scripture. It is erroneously based on the 3rd Commandment in which it is written to not take the name of God in vain. The irony is that like Hawwah (I know, your "bible" says Eve, but that wasn't her name), they added to the Scriptures. See, God told Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, by the time Hawwah was speaking with satan in the garden she said they were not even to "touch" the tree. Of course, shortly after she added to the Word of God - she not only touched the tree violating a man made commandment - she also ate from the tree violating God's Commandment. So too is the story of the Rabbis'. Shortly after they added to the Commandment by saying one could not even speak the name of God, they violated their man made commandment. To keep from violating their made up commandment even further, they kept piling on more and more ridiculous rules. First they added letters over the name of God so that people wouldn't pronounce it correctly. When people, in pronouncing the new made up name, still said some of the actual name of God - they took the name out of Scripture completely. They then replaced the name of God with the name "Adoni" - which means master. Of course, God never told us to call him "Master", but this word is also the proper name of a false god - baal. They even went so far a to say people couldn't speak or write the name Elohim - which means God. This is not God's name, but His title - however, they wouldn't even let people say that. When Jewish people write God today they will often write "G-d" so as not to violate a commandment that never even existed. Others will say only "HaShem" which means "the Name" or intentionally mispronounce Elohim by saying elokim. Of course, all this gymnastics has led Jewish people for thousands of years to follow firmly in the footsteps of Hawwah; you see, part of not taking the name of God in vain is to not let is be seen as nothingness. However, that is just what they have done - the proper and personal name of God hasn't been spoken in a synagog or from the mouth of a devout Jew in thousands of years. The Rabbis went so far as the change the way the Hebrew language was written and spoken to keep people away from God's proper and personal name.
While that is a sad and terrible account, Christianity isn't one iota better on this matter. While they have had every opportunity to correct this error of Judaism, they have chosen to keep the error and ratchet it up even more. Instead of using the proper and personal name of God in scripture - every English Bible with the exception of 2 or 3 obscure ones you must search for like a detective, they have chosen to substitute the name of God AND His Son the Messiah with not only the name of the false god baal, but also made up names that have absolutely NO connection with their honest rendering. For instance, turn in your bible to Exodus 15:3 and if your bible says "the Lord is a man of battle, the Lord is His Name - go to the garbage and throw it away. Okay, is that too much. Turn to Isaiah 42:8, if your bible starts out with "I am the Lord, that is My Name" - now throw it away. Why? Well, read the rest of that scripture - if you don't think your bible replacing the name of God with the name of an idol violates that very scripture; Houston, we have a problem!
So, what is God's name? I am glad you asked! God wrote His name for us almost 7,000 times in scripture. An English rendering of His Name is spelled YHWH. While English pronunciations vary (mainly because Christian and Jewish leaders for thousands of years have intentionally suppressed the name for a number of reasons), the most well researched phonetic pronunciation I have found is "Yah-O-Wah".
So, whats wrong with saying "Lord"? Well, number one - that isn't His Name. He told us His Name almost 7,000 times, He introduced Himself to us in the most beautiful, wonderful, caring, loving, and amazing ways - how could we not be respectful enough to use His Name? Imagine if your spouse insisted on calling you by the name of the last person they dated before they met you? Would you be okay with that? What about if parents called you a nickname you detested and told them you detested? What if your children decided to forsake the traditional "mom" or "dad" and simply call you "fart face"?
The other, and most important, reason for using His Name is that we were clearly told in Scripture that salvation depends on 1)Knowing His Name, and 2) Calling upon His Name. Do you really want to take the chance of getting His Name wrong? If your okay with that, I will start calling you "dumb ass" and I am sure you will be okay with that - after all, its just a name.
And since I mentioned it briefly - the name of the Messiah, YHWH's only begotten Son is not "Jesus" or "Christ" or "Lord", His name is Yahoshua which means "Yah Saves". If translated into English (which it shouldn't be because names are not translated, they are transliterated) it would be Joshua. Yes, the exact same name used for Joshua, Son of Nun - with the same meaning. The name Jesus (which started as Iesus because the letter "J" was invented until the 1500's) is at best a made up name. At worst, it is the name of a Greek sun god. Every time you call upon the names of "Jesus" and "Lord" - no matter how your heart feels, you are disrespecting God. He was the victim of a crime, as was all of humanity when His Name was taken from us. If the people in the movie Roots had enough respect to go back to calling the main character "Kunta Kentee" instead of the false slavery imposed name of "Toby", surely we can give as much respect to the creator of the Universe. Revelations clearly says to the messenger of the assembly in Philadelphia in Revelation (Hazon) 3:8 "I know your works - see, I have set before you an open door, and no one is able to shut it - that you have little power, yet have guarded My Word, and have not denied My Name." Philadelphia gets welcomed with an open arm. However, Laodikeia is lukewarm, neither hot nor cold - a little wishy washy. Sound a little like people who think that any old name will do? Ones that think the Creator of the Universe can be renamed at will by any rabbi, priest, pope, preacher, or teacher who decides His name is too hard, too sacred, too Jewish - so they will just call him whatever they please? Maybe its time for a choice. Maybe its time to decide if you are going to be a Philadelphian or a dumb ass.

My REAL Journey Home

When I started this blog, I thought the focus would be on my quitting my full time job to stay home with my kids. I had no idea this journey would be so much bigger. This isn’t just about me finding my place as wife and mother; it is about me truly finding God.

Those who know me are probably wondering if I have lost my mind! What do I mean “finding God”, I have been a practicing Christian since I was a young teenager. For over 20 years I thought I knew God, boy was I wrong. Here I was, worshiping a God and I didn’t even know His name! Oh, I thought I knew His name – it was “God” right? Maybe His name was “Lord”. At least that is what my Bible said.  I never actually read those beginning notes – you know all those pages before Genesis 1:1. I had no idea that the true name of God had been removed from the scriptures, first by Jewish Rabbis, then by Catholic Priests. God has a name and He declared it almost 7,000 times in scripture – His name is YHWH and it is pronounced “Ya Ho Weh”. He was so clear about His name being known that He gave us a commandment about it. We say “don’t take the name of “the Lord” in vain, but the Commandment is more than that – we are to not let His name come to naught. And, His name is not “the Lord”. In fact, in additional to the title “Lord” mean master, it also means “baal” – you know that false god the children is Israel often got in trouble for worshiping? Yes indeed, whenever we magnify “the Lord” we are more accurately calling on a false pagan god than on the One True God – YHWH.

As I did more digging and studying, I found out that most of my religious walk as a Christian consisted of openly breaking Commandments YHWH had been clear about as well as outright pagan worship. Oh yes, it was dressed up to look pretty and had nice “Christian” words associated with it – like “Christmas”, but all those things were pagan through and through. The more I dug the more I realized I wasn’t worshiping YHWH at all, in fact – the steeped I got in the practice of my religion the more I was twisting scripture. Everything from Sunday worship to Easter was purely pagan to the core. My heart was right, my motivations were right – but I had been deceived! The deception was thousands of years old and intentional. I stood in horror as I looked at my feet sure in the foundations of my faith – only to find they were on sinking sand. I looked in horror as I found that even the Bible I held in my hand had been corrupted by men.

So, this blog will be dedicated to my journey home – home to my Father YHWH as I learn more and grow more. Now, for those still reading and not already fasting and praying for my deliverance – here are some things I will explain right up front. Here are the things that I believe are true:

1.       There is one true and living God and His name is YHWH

2.       He has one begotten Son and His name is Yahoshua (we will get to this name later)

3.       There is but ONE way to God, and that is through His Son; you cannot work your way into heaven, you cannot be good enough or perfect enough

4.       The Word of God is TRUE and infallible; however, translation errors and intentional corruption of scripture makes our learning of that True Word take more than just a passive approach. We must study hard, look at multiple translations, go to as close to the original sources as possible, and make our beliefs line up with the Word instead of trying to make the Word line up with our beliefs.

5.       The “Old Testament” is still valid today and the plan of salvation was laid out for us even through the words of Moses. The “New Testament” is valid in that is confirms the prophecies about the Messiah and His coming. The NT is also the most challenging because it has been subject to a lot of corruption due to several issues 1)Language – the Greek language, which is what the oldest found manuscripts of the NT were written in was plagued by pagan names and Hellenistic  work, 2) Incomplete Manuscripts – there has been NO intact manuscript of the NT found and there are over 3,000 discrepancies found in many of the letters between texts that have been used to translate the NT; these discrepancies are not found in the OT 3) Forgeries – some of the biggest forgeries are found in the writings attributed to Paul with most of the books attributed to Paul now being considered by Biblical scholars to be “questionable”.

So, the next big question is “am I a Christian”? This one is a hard one. Christianity has been such a HUGE part of who I am, most of my friends are Christians, I know the language and lingo, I know the customs and traditions, many of the most important aspects of my life and my most important moments in life were defined in my Christian faith, and even though I had an incomplete view of God – I met Him through Christianity. With that said, there are many defining aspects of Christianity that I no longer accept. For instance, the Christian holy days of Christmas and Easter I can no longer participate in. I believe man had no right to change the Sabbath nor to discontinue the practice of the Set Apart Times declared by God (like Passover). And most importantly, my Savior is named Yahoshua, not Jesus; Christ my God is named YHWH, not Lord. This is more than changing from Baptist to Methodist.

So, do I have a church? Right now we are still on the rolls at our Primitive Baptist Church, we still attend on many Sunday’s and we still regularly pay our tithes there. So no, I am not just trying to “get out of tithing”. Like I said, this is a journey. I would say we are moving closer to a more Messianic walk in our faith, but not so much “Orthodox Jews that believe in Jesus”. It’s really quite hard to define, so I will say this is more about relationship than religion. I can’t say how this will all play out – heck our church’s pastor may read this blog and kick us out, after all – I would be a Christian that doesn’t celebrate Easter!

So, again, welcome to my journey home. I think it will be an exciting one!

"The Law" and Grace

I have found nothing can divide a room of Christians more than mentioning "the Law". Wait isn't true, it doesn't truly divide the room - it causes everyone to be in agreement about one key thing - we are not, under any circumstances, never, never ever, did I mention never - to obey "the Law". When I inquire as to why exactly I get the "we are not under the Law, we are under Grace" comment. So, Christians are "lawless"? I am told we are not really lawless, we are just not "under the law". What exactly does that mean? We either have to follow the Law or we don't have to follow the Law. Am I to believe that a God who was very clear in the "Old Testament" somehow became a bit muddled in His ideas in the "New Testament". Do we follow the Law or do we not?
I know, Jesus said He came to fulfill the Law - but what does that mean? Many Christians interpret this to mean that He finished it, since He obeyed it we are exempt from obeying it. Okay. This comment makes sense only if we chose not to define exactly what this Law is.
The Law is often referred to as the Torah. Many Christians fail to realize there are two different "Laws" mentioned in the New Testament. The first is God's Law, that is the Torah. The second, commonly referred to as the Oral Torah was man's law. In an effort to keep people from disobeying the Torah, rabbis' and priests over the years chose to put a "fence" around the Torah. These were rules that were more strict than the Torah to keep people far enough away from the Torah that they would never transgress it.
This introduced a couple of problems. The first is that one command in the Torah is to not add or take away from it. So, in adding the "fence" around the Torah those Hebrew leaders were in fact - breaking the Torah! The second is Moses was already clear that the Torah wasn't too hard for people to obey. They didn't need any help in obeying it, it wasn't too high, too hard, or too much. The third is that God never puts a "fence" around sin. When God put Adam and Eve into the garden He didn't put a fence around the tree of knowledge of good and evil. His Word should be fence enough. If you love Him you obey. Finally, many rules added to "fence" the Torah would automatically require people to break the Torah to obey them and they even made the Torah too hard to obey!
When I first started my journey to understand the foundations of my faith, I didn't know much about the Torah. Yes, I can admit I didn't even know the "Laws" I could now freely break or not break or kind of break or break but be forgiven - well, I didn't know the Torah! I thought the Torah was just about sacrificing birds and bulls on an alter so that my sins could be "forgiven" and of course Jesus did that! Well, that actually isn't what the Torah is about. Yes, there are sacrifices - but those don't "forgive" your sins - was was just an atonement until Jesus came. Also, you couldn't sacrifice just anywhere, you could only sacrifice in the temple. So, today there is not temple and hasn't been for almost 2000 years. So, no burning birds on the alter.
However, the other rules for living according to the Torah are, for lack of a better word, brilliant! They discuss how to conduct business, how to treat your employees, how to treat your neighbor, how to treat your spouse. They discuss keeping God's appointed times (those things we refer to as Jewish holidays - when they were created before there was a people called "Jews").
So, if Jesus came to "fill all the requirements" of the Torah, does that mean one no longer has to pay their employees on time? Does that mean one no longer has to lend to the poor? Does that mean it is now good and acceptable to touch dead bodies? See, when you become familiar with the Torah you begin to see the absurdity of thinking it was done away with. The Torah doesn't even mean "Law", that was a Greek to English translation error. Torah refers to the first five books of the Bible and there were 613 Torah commands within those five books.
As a note - Jesus never broke one Torah command in his life. Some might say - no, the Bible says he healed on the Sabbath and that was against the Torah. No, it wasn't. There is no command in the written Torah, the Torah given by God that one cannot heal on the Sabbath! Now, the oral law created by the Pharisees, did have such commands. Jesus often did things that were against the Pharisee additions to the Torah (the Oral Torah) just to show that one needs not obey man, but one must obey God. Jesus was our example, our guide, and our example.
Another point before I go from this blog posting - the Torah never saved! To say that we no longer need to obey the Torah because we have Jesus is crazy. Jesus said He alone was the Way, the Truth, and the Light and NO MAN can go to the Father except through Him. Period. Even if Abraham and Moses kept EVERY statute of the Torah, they still could not ascend to the Father until after Jesus died and rose and took dominion over death and hell. Abraham, Issac, and Jacob all needed the Messiah just as you and I. Jesus stepped out of time and redeemed all the people of God - those who died before He came and those who died after He came. Obedience is not salvation. Obedience is our outward manifestation of our hope of and belief in our salvation. How can we get more clear than the words of Jesus Himself: If you love Me, keep my commandments. John 14:15. Interestingly - when Jesus spoke of the greatest two commandments "Loving God with all your heart and strength and loving your neighbor as yourself" - He was speaking of two specific commands in the Torah. And yes, that does sum up all the Torah. The rest of the Torah (including the Ten Commandments) go on to tell us HOW to do those two things.
For those wondering - I do not at this time obey the entire Torah. The reason is because I am still learning the Torah. I belong to a religion that has neglected not only the following of, but the teaching of the Torah for over 1500. The more I learn, the more I try to do. I honestly don't even know if I am doing it "right", I am hard pressed to find Christian resources on following the Torah, even our of choice and not obligation.
Again, let me be clear that obeying the Torah will NOT get me into Heaven. The ONLY way to the Father is through Jesus and there is nothing I can do to earn that. However, like any child - I still have to obey my Father. He saved my life, now He gets to tell me how to live that life, which belongs to Him. I don't have to wonder how God wants me to live - He was clear about that thousands of years ago. I don't assume perfection even when I learn it - the children of Israel disobeyed shortly after being delivered miraculously from Egypt. I don't have to be perfect, but I do need to try. I only need to work to stay within the guidelines of the written Torah, not the additional man made commands clearly demonstrated by Jesus to be outside the Torah. And again, even if I were to be perfect in each and every one - they would NOT make me "saved" and it wouldn't make me any more "saved" than a person not following any of the Torah. The Torah is not about salvation, it is about how God expects His people to live on the earth. It is Creator detailing how He expects His creation to interact with Him and with their fellow man. Yes, someone can follow the Torah and not be saved because Jesus said He was the Way and no one gets to the Father except through Him. Yet He also clearly indicated in John 14 that a sign of our love for Him was following the Torah. The Torah is a bit like an engagement ring. It simply identifies to others that you belong to someone. It is a sign of your love, not your love itself. Once can be engaged without a ring - but it makes people suspect about that love. One can also wear a ring and be unfaithful and even have no intention in truly going through with the wedding. The ring isn't magic just as the Torah isn't magic. The ring can change the heart and God looks at the heart. However, it is from the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks and when we loudly declare we are not subject to the commands of God - well, I will leave that to the reader to decide.

How I became a pagan worshiper!

Okay, my goal was never to be a pagan worshiper. Nothing, absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. So, I almost fainted, died, then fainted again when I found out some of the "traditions" I had been celebrating as part of my religious beliefs and expression were in fact - pagan worship!
I will cover the one that was the most revealing, most stunning, and caused my heart the most pain - the celebration of the Easter holiday. I had always been taught we celebrated Easter in honor of Christ rising on the third day. Easter has been celebrated in every religious denomination I have ever encountered. I remember being absolutely offended when people would be going about selling chocolate bunnies (although I remember eating them, loving them, and even looking forward to receiving them as a child). I remember not really understanding that the egg thing was about - but gladly went about finding eggs, taking my kids to find eggs, and even hosting eggs hunts at my home.
I saw over the past few years some churches move from calling the holiday "Easter" to calling it "Resurrection Sunday". I thought - oh good, we are taking back "our" holiday! Well, imagine my surprise when I found out that calling Easter "Resurrection Sunday" still wasn't "taking it back" or making it Christian - it was still very much in line with the pagan worship that was involved in celebrating Easter - even before the time of Christ.
While most of my research has been on the internet - secular and religious websites all agree on the history of the Easter holiday and how it became a part of Christian religious tradition. I will share what I  learned. Most of this outline comes from the page titled "Pagan Origin of Easter" from www.lastrumpetministries.org. However, this timeline is consistent with four other religious and secular websites and is not disputed on any Christian website.
Ham, the son of Noah, had a son name Cush. Cush married a woman named Semiramis and they had a son named Nimrod. After Cush died, Nimrod married his mother (Semiramis) and became a powerful king. The Bible speakd of Nimrod in Genesis 10:8-10. Nimrod became a "god-man" to the people and with wife/mother became Queen of ancient Babylon. Nimrod was killed by an enemy and his body was cut into pieces and sent away. Semiramis gathered all the parts except one - his reproductive organ. Semiramis said that Nimrod could not come back to life without it and told the people of Babylon that Nimrod ascended to the sun and was now to be called "Baal", the sun god.
Semiramis called she was the result of immaculate conception and that the moon was her mother. She claimed that she came down from the moon in a giant - Egg! Semiramis became known as "Ishtar" which is pronounce "Easter" and her moon egg became known as "Ishtar's egg". Get it - "Easter's egg".
Isthar had a son Tammuz and she claimed it was Baal who impregnated her. Tammuz liked hare's (or rabbits) and they became sacred in the ancient religion because Tammuz was believed to be the son of the sun-god Baal. Tammuz was killed by a wild boar (pig). Ishtar claimed some of Tammuz's blood fell on a stump of an evergreen tree and the stump grew into a full new tree overnight. Isthar told the people Tammuz has now "ascended" to his father the "sun-god" Baal. They were to celebrate this occassion every year on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. Ishtar's Sunday was celebrated with rabbits and eggs. It was always about a "resurrection". The word "Easter" appears in the King James Bible in Acts chapter 12:4 - but it was Herod that was about to celebrate Easter! Herod was a pagan and he was waiting until after celebrating his pagan holiday to kill Peter.
So, how did this pagan holiday get into the Christian church? Christians and Jews used to worship in the same temple and celebrate the same holidays. They would normally be celebrating passover. However, as tensions rose between Christians and Jews there was a separation. More and more "gentiles" - which means a pagan worshiper, began to join the congregation of believers. However, instead of instructing them to leave their pagan worship and worship as God alone instructed, it is believed they allowed them to continue with their former pagan worship and simply make it "Christian". This is similar to the golden calf situation that happened after God lead the Isralites out of Egypt. They wanted to offer a golden calf to God. Golden calves were a large part of pagan worship and God wanted none of it. He never authorized pagan holidays to be simply "turned into" Christian holidays. We are to leave the old man and embrace our new identity. Celebrating a pagan holiday, in a completely pagan way, and simply changing the name. They were doing what God never said do, doing what Jesus never said do; they decided to bring their pagan religion into the church and force God to accept it by claiming Tammuz now represented Jesus and Baal represented God.
I am beginning to see much more clearly why God was so specific in His commands and also why He told us to put off the "old man". It is at least time for me to listen to God and do what He said. We were commanded to not add to His law nor take away. So, I will still be worshiping - just observing the things God instructed. So - Happy Passover!

Christians and the Sabbath - Part 3

So, should Christians honor the Sabbath? This is only my opinion from the research that I have done. I believe Christians, should in fact, honor the Sabbath. The Sabbath honors something that wasn't simply Jewish Law, it honors something that happened before there was a such thing a Jews - it honors God as the Creator of the universe. In fact, I am actually perplexed that many Christians find the concept of the Sabbath so offensive. To me, the Sabbath represents the realization that all Power is in the hands of God and what will happen in our lives will be the will of the Father. We cannot toil long enough, hard enough, or good enough - we are living under the grace and mercy of a Loving God and has all power in His hands.
Now, when should one celebrate the Sabbath? Well, on the Sabbath! The Sabbath was about rest, not about church. The Sabbath was designed before the church on a pattern that took place before the church began. There is nothing stopping a Christian from honoring the Sabbath on the Sabbath and worshiping in church with other believers on the Lord's Day - on Sunday. I think the debate on this is a bit ill conceived, one can do both. I am not okay with man thinking he can change the Commandments on God to suit his own needs or correlate with man made tradition. Many people worshiped in the temple on more than one day - not just the Sabbath. So, going to church on Sunday is also not a violation of God's Law. There is nothing that says one should only get involved in corporate worship on day a week or one particular day a week. The Sabbath isn't a "church day", it is a rest day.
How should a Christian celebrate the Sabbath? I believe this is personal. We have traditional Jewish and Adventist practices as a model. However, the stipulation that God gave was simply that one should cease from their labor. Labor was a way in which people earned their living and provided for their home. What is labor to me may not be labor to you. For instance, a woodworker earns their living from working with wood - they should probably not do work for profit on the Sabbath. However, a family may enjoy woodworking as a family activity - I don't think they should be forbidden from having family time doing wood crafts. However, if the focus of the craft is finishing a "honey do" list - then it probably shouldn't be done. For some women, cooking is their labor. They don't really enjoy it, but do it simply because it must be done. They should probably put on a crock pot, buy a meal, or fix something that doesn't involve cooking so they can have a Sabbath rest. For others, it may be they enjoy cooking and spend time together as a family preparing a meal together. The consistent thing from all Sabbath traditions is being with ones family and being reminded of "why" they are resting. Not because they are tired, not because God was tired. They should remind themselves that on the seventh day God rested because what He had set in motion was completed for all eternity - we should be reminded of this each and every Sabbath.
Some people don't go to parties or do anything out of the house on the Sabbath. That is fine for them and I don't think it is bad. However, if there is a party that wouldn't be "work" that the entire family could enjoy - I would think it would be fair game. Again, honoring the Sabbath isn't about what you "can't do", its about being reminded in our entire being as to what God DID, and finished (meaning the end of days was completed, it is all in the Hands of God).  Let's keep the Sabbath what is was intended for, a time for man to cease from laboring and striving for what God has already determined, provided, and accomplished.
However, lets not get into legalism (yes, I said it - LOL). Yes, going to the hospital and praying for someone might be work, and hard work - that doesn't mean you say "no, its the Sabbath". Your neighbor needing a hand, someone getting a flat tire in front of your house, the boy down the street losing his dog and seeking someone to help him find it, and even your child attending a birthday party for someone that doesn't have a lot of friends and has been feeling depressed, sad, and unloved - do it. Remember, Jesus said the highest Commandment was to love God with all your heart and the second was to love our neighbor - show love, even if it means doing some work on the Sabbath!
How my family plans to celebrate the Sabbath is to be together as a family. No mommy grading papers, no daddy putting up shutters on the house. The kids love cutting the grass with daddy - so you might see everyone outside cutting the grass. For us, that isn't work (okay, for my husband and kids - I am not a big nature girl!) This Sabbath, my husband will be taking my eldest to watch a robotics competition. Yes, I said we do things as a family; however, there is life involved. Even in biblical times women with babies were not expected to participate in some things. We also know that a baby was considered a child 5 and under. My twins are 4, they are still babies. This means some things we need to be exempted from so that I can tend to my babies. My babies (thankfully) still nap daily (God is SO GOOD). They need a nap for their health as babies need more sleep than others. If, in trying to be a Sabbath family - I neglected my duties as parent, that wouldn't be showing love nor honoring God. So, we will not all be together for part of the day. However, I think we are still honoring the Sabbath as I will allow the twins to take their nap in my bed while I read a book. I LOVE reading - it is restful! They love sleeping in our bed. My husband and my eldest love robots - its works. However, once my twins have passed the baby stage, everything will be entire family based for the day.
I look at the Sabbath as a wonderful gift from God. Its beautiful and lovely - and so needed in this time where is seems we are all going a million miles a minute!To have a day when we can just stop! Stop striving, stop climbing, stop trying to navigate our way and remind ourselves that God is in control - how wonderful! A day when I don't have to be superwoman - yippee! Yes, superwoman homeschooling the kids, teaching college courses, cooking, cleaning, etc., etc., etc. It's exhausting! Being able to say - thank you Lord, I can sit down. I can't sit down because "I" am finished, but because "He" is finished. It reminds me that if I don't get to that math lesson - its okay, God will make sure my children learn it in due time - whether it be from me or School House Rock it will get done.
Of course, there is preparation for the Sabbath! Remember when the children of Israel were in the wilderness - God had them gather a double portion of manna on the six day. This was to ensure they could rest on the Sabbath. That means I probably need to do an extra load of laundry on my six day, or get those papers graded NOW, or get the roast defrosted and in the oven pronto! So, another thing the Sabbath does is keep us from procrastinating! Isn't God so smart! I don't get to say "hey, I didn't get that done and since its the Sabbath you have to wait!" That isn't right and it isn't showing love to the people I promised I would get things to. It means I need to get moving to honor my commitments. It also means I should NOT over commit! We are working seven days a week because we are committing all of our time and being too busy. I need to be cognizant of the time I am allowed to give others - six days. I need to make sure I am not committing to seven, not promising seven, and I shouldn't even try to sneak seven days of work into six days. In neglecting the Sabbath we have been exhausting ourselves and this was never the plan of God. This isn't legalism, its sanity! How many Christians today have illness because they are tired and overworked? How many are so stressed it is taking a toll on their marriage? How many so tired from laboring they are taking it out on their kids? Even children today are busy seven days a week - enough already. Lets get back into God's plan by first reminding ourselves whom is really in control - God!

Christians and the Sabbath, Part 2

So what is the Sabbath?

It is well documented and universally understood that the Sabbath is from sundown on Friday night to sundown on Saturday. In Genesis the Bible says that "the evening and the morning were the first day" and so on. Its interesting the note that first century Christians, who were mostly Jewish Christians (known today as Messianic Jews) worshiped in the same temples as non-Christian Jews. Gentiles that came to know Christ also worshiped in the same temples. In fact, many of the discords found in the Bible, and many scriptures that are confused today (like dietary laws) are often a result of non-Christian Jews setting up additional requirements before a Gentile would be considered "clean" enough to enter the temple. Christian Jews understood it was Jesus that cleansed both the Jews and the Gentiles and anyone that wanted could enter the temple. However, this didn't mean one no longer needed to follow the Commandments of God! It was just that following those Commandments didn't lead to salvation. The question is - can a murderer get to heaven? Yes, they can. However, that doesn't mean Christians (Gentile or Jewish) should go around murdering people! Paul clearly dealt with this fallacy! We are not to offend the Law purposely or not due to our "get out of hell free card". We must still work to keep the Law (all the Law) while we acknowledge even being perfect in this regard is not enough - only Jesus can cleanse us. In fact, keeping of the Law for Christians isn't about cleansing, its about being obedient to one True and Living God and acknowledging that we realize we belong to God - its He that made us and we no longer belong to ourselves. In keeping of the Law I would be saying to myself, my family, my God, and showing the world that I am a child of God. If asked why I keep the Law my answer is to be simply - because God said so. Its not about sacrifice, its about obedience. Its not about cleansing or holiness or self-righteousness - again it is simply about being obedient to my Father.
So, if Christian and Non-Christian Jews, as well as Christian Gentiles were all worshiping together in the temple, honoring the Sabbath together - what changed? Why did Christians stop worshiping on Sunday. It took searching, but I finally found the answer. The answer is consistent in both Jewish, Christian, and Secular accounts. From 66 - 73 there was a revolt against Rome by a Non-Christian Jewish sect. Although at first successful in driving Rome from Jerusalem, the revolt was brutally crushed by Rome with men, women, and children being slaughtered. Not wanting to be wrongly identified as being a part of this revolt, Christians (Jewish and Gentile) tried to distinguish themselves from those Jews that has revolted against Rome. With the Sabbath had traditionally been the Christian day of worship, it was decided that Jewish and non-Jewish Christians would worship on Sunday. Why Sunday? Sunday was already a "holy" day in Rome. It was known as "the Lord's Day". However, the "Lord" they were referring to was actually the Emperor! Christians felt they could begin to worship on the "the Lord's Day", but actually be worshiping the true Lord, and not the false god of Nero and later Vespasian. Of course, this was the first time there was a distinguishing between Christians and Jews in terms of worship. They had always been worshiping the same God.
After the revolt was crushed and the temple destroyed - Jews and Christians were dispersed throughout Rome. The temple had always been "home base" until that time. After this dispersment did such strong distinctions come between Jews and Christians, not just about Jesus Messiah - but even in the interpretation of scripture. This led to quite a bit of, for lack of a better word - antisemitism in the Christian Church. The Christian Church, now centered in the heart of Rome (due in large part to Roman Emperor Constantine) began to advise strongly against "jewdising" of Christianity. It was from this point forward that Christians have looked not to Jerusalem for the foundations of their faith, the interpretation of scripture, and the promises of the Bible - but to Rome. This was the time in which Christian interpretation became not the joining in with the chosen people of God in the abundant blessings of God - but in the usurping of and taking away. It actually reminds me of the old testament story of Jacob and Esau. It is how I more fully understand why there is a fraction between Messianic Jews (or Christian Jews) and other Christians.
I am in no way saying Christians should become Jews. I am saying the Bible was set in a time even before there was a people called "Jews", it is a Hebraic history. We must look to accurately divide the Word of God, basing it not upon Rome or Israel - but upon the roots for which is stands. I am not disparaging my Catholic brothers and sisters, just as I am not disparaging my Jewish brothers and sisters. I am saying our God is not Catholic or Jewish (although our Savior was indeed raised as a Jew and lived as  Jew, died as a Jew, and rose as a Jew) - He is before time and He put the words in the Bible that He wanted to be there. The Bible also allows for debating of scriptures (the men used to set upon the city walls a debate all the time), but our debates must be grounded in God and His word.
Back to the Sabbath - LOL! I hope I have given a good (though not perfect and not nearly enough references, so please do your own searching) history on why Christians stopped honoring the Sabbath and how Sunday became the standard day of worship for Christians. My last post will be if Christians should indeed honor the Sabbath, and what that actually means.

Christians and the Sabbath Part 1

I have found the Fourth Commandment (Remember the Sabbath day, keep it holy) to be one of the most divisive and emotionally charged issues one can face in Christian circles (at least in the United States) today. I grew up in a Missionary Baptist Church, spent my late teens and early twenties in a non-denominational church, then returned to the Baptist Church in my thirties (first Southern Baptist, then Primitive Baptist). We also attend a Methodist Church once a month. This traveling amongst denominations wasn't "searching" in a sense, most changes were due to geographic moves (although we have left a couple of churches based on scriptural differences). We always chose a church based on if the Word of God was preached.  However, in all my years as a Christian I have yet to hear one sermon on the keeping of the Fourth Commandment.
When we moved to Alabama, we didn't realize we were moving to the "Seventh Day Adventist Capital of the World". For those unaware, Seventh Day Adventist take honoring the Sabbath as one of the primary foundations of their faith - they are very serious about this commandment. While finding such good friends who were practicing Adventist didn't lead me to want to abandon my faith, it did lead me to ask questions of why this Commandment was so ignored in larger Christian circles. I also began a journey of exploring the basic foundations of my Christian faith. Never questioning my Lord the Christ, but questioning what I believed about the Bible, about being a Christian, about what salvation meant. Most of this was in an effort to teach my children our faith (how can one teach what one doesn't intimately understand!) and also because I felt I wasn't walking a strong Christian life - mainly because I didn't really know what that meant.
Now, I have heard and read the contemporary reasons for why many Christians in America don't honor the Sabbath. Some of the most commons things I heard were:
1. Jesus was our Sabbath, our rest, so every day is the Sabbath
2. Honoring the Sabbath is legalism and should be avoided
3. After the death of Jesus we were no longer bound by the "law", thus we didn't need to honor the Sabbath anymore
4. Are you trying to be a Jew or something? Make sure you don't get into error!

The first thing I did was examined each of these answers. Dealing with answer number one I looked to see if Jesus really was considered our Sabbath. What I found was Jesus is our Savior. He is the ultimate sacrifice that allows us to get back into right relationship with God the Father. We could never on our own be good enough to stand before God. Animal sacrifices were good for a time, but always limited. They could only last for a time. Jesus, the ultimate sacrifice was enough for all humanity for all of our time on earth before His return. While we are to cast our cares upon the Lord because He cares for us, this really has nothing to do with the Sabbath. This answer just didn't bear up scrutiny.
The second answer always made me laugh - avoid legalism. Legalism is thinking that one is made right and whole by performing certain tasks, including following the Ten Commandments. A person can follow Commandments 2 - 10 with perfection, but even through works one can never follow the First without first looking to Jesus Christ. He is the only way to God. However, saying Commandment Four leads to legalism is as silly as saying Commandment Nine or Ten does! While any Christian act of obedience can lead one to "legalism", that doesn't mean we wallow in disobedience! Can you imagine standing before God saying "well Father, I know you said not to steal; I chose to life life as a bank robber so I wouldn't get into legalism!" Again, this argument doesn't stand up!
Answer Three I call the mixing up of scripture answer. Yes, Jesus came to fulfill the law, but that doesn't mean we get to disobey the Commandments of God. Those Christians that tell me we no longer need to honor the Sabbath will also tell me that my kids should Obey me because of the Commandments and that we shouldn't murder or commit adultery. Oh really, I thought the Law was fulfilled and we didn't have to Honor it?
The Fourth answer actually lead me to the true reason why many Christians don't honor the Sabbath! The first thing we should deal with is that the first time the Commandment of Honoring the Sabbath was given - it wasn't to the Jews! It was to Adam in the Garden of Eden. This isn't a Commandment about religion, it is a Commandment acknowledging God as the Creator of the universe! As I heard a preacher say (funny, not talking about us Honoring the Sabbath, but the magnificence of God) God didn't rest because He was tired, He rested because He was finished! We are to rest on the Seventh day as a constant reminder of who our Creator is, what our Creator did, and that God is always in charge and never man.

"Room for Growth"

I recently read a survey on "the most hated jobs in America" (via yahoo news). One common theme that frustrated individuals was "no room for growth". This was not so much shocking, but sad. It showed just how backwards our world has become. In America today, many peoples feelings of self worth are tied into their job and how "high up" they have been able to climb. This is unhealthy for several reasons.
The first reason this is unhealthy is because a job is a business contract between an individual and an organization. An organization that was created to make a profit by filling some need or niche. This is important because if one of those things stops happenings (profits or filling needs), the company is required to make changes, some of which may include laying off an employee, dropping salary, eliminating jobs, or relocating in an effort to reduce costs. If those interim steps don't work, the company may shut down altogether. Since this is an ever present risk, why would we tie our feelings of self worth, achievement, and accomplishment to this possibly temporary life experience?
The second reason it isn't good to tie your personal feelings of worth and and satisfaction to your employer is due to the fact that apart from choosing to accept the job or reject it, you get little choice in the actual individuals that make up your work environment. Due to bad hiring practices, nepotism, and a number of other situations - you could end up working for and/or with a jerk. More than a jerk, these individuals can be down right bullies and create an emotionally abusive and hostile work environment. I know people who although they would never enter an abusive marriage, stay in just as an abusive work environment. I get that we all need to eat and sometimes we don't get a chance to break away from a bad work environment, but that doesn't mean you should had over your most intimate emotions and your emotional stability to others you had absolutely no control in choosing to have such a role in your life.
A final thing that was disturbing was the focus on the "opportunity for growth", but growth is more often defined as more money, a better title, and a bigger office. For your professional life's work to be defined in dollars and square footage is sad, mainly because it makes your akin to nothing more than a harlot. The number of people will to wave ever increasing dollar bills in your face tells the world how "good" your are, really? Some of the individuals who have made the most amazing professional contributions to our world weren't necessarily rolling dough - especially at the times they made those contributions. Einstein didn't go to work for the people that paid him the most, but the ones that allowed him the most opportunity to reach professional greatness and impact the world. Dr. George Washington Carver didn't open a bidding war for his expertise, he followed the need. Their worth was internal to themselves and they saw their jobs as an opportunity to be contribute, they didn't allow their jobs to define them and they certainly didn't need to be lap dogs for others, craving external acknowledgement that they were indeed "somebody".
However, the saddest part about this ever increasing phenomenon is that instead of our worth being tied to the people and things that matter, its tied to impersonal business deals, contracts, and employment negotiations. You get to choose your spouse, your friends, and even get to determine the level of relationship you will have with extended family members - wouldn't it make more sense to invent emotional energy into these areas. People often times are willing to sacrifice their marriage and especially their children on the alter or work in hopes of "growth" or a promotion. These same people are then shocked when they get laid off after twenty years - which is usually once those same children whom they barely noticed as they climbed the corporate ladder have left the nest. Its only then that they realized that made the wrong choice. Companies come and go, but relationships "can" live forever. However, they can only live forever in a healthy way if you invest the necessary time, energy, in effort into making them and keeping them healthy. That might mean sacrificing some material wants as you don't put in overtime for a few more dollars. That might mean turning down a promotion that will keep you from seeing your own family for weeks at a time. That might mean taking a job for less pay, but more flexibility. That might mean choosing a healthier work environment - even though it means a less fancy title and prestige.
I am not saying "don't work". Not everyone gets the choice to walk away from their day job to focus on their family. However, once the basics are taken care of, think twice about the things you are doing in order to rise up the ranks in an organization. Is that raise worth it? How much is time with your children worth? How much is a healthy relationship with your spouse worth? How much is your own emotional stability worth? Wouldn't you rather find your peace in the people you have chosen to be in your life, rather than constantly seeking the approval of those who have been assigned to you?
Its funny, this is one of the reasons we chose to home school (not that these should be the choice for everyone). We didn't want our children's lives to revolve around people randomly assigned to them - either as teachers or classmates. We wanted the ability to choose healthy environments for our children to learn in - with teachers we could determine in advanced had not only the knowledge, but the skills to pass on that knowledge to our children in a healthy way. We wanted to be able to choose if an experience with others children was healthy - yes, children will run into bullies and jerks in all kinds of environments. However, what we get to teach our children is they have a choice. If that bully is causing your physical pain or emotional harm - you can quit - you can remove yourself from that situation. Having read too many stories of children that chosen to take their own lives because they couldn't get away from the assigned bully, I embrace and stand by our decision. Having seen many, many adults suffer greatly from bullies and jerks in the workplace - feeling frozen in an unhealthy work environment, not realizing they can quit, they can walk away, that their own lives are more important than money - I again embrace the skills we are imparting in our children from the beginning.
Having started my own journey, where I walked away from the prestige, the money, the titles, and the accolades to embrace my family and the important roles in my life as wife and mother (even with a PhD), I am here to proclaim their is life after the rat race. While I'm not getting that big fat direct deposit every two weeks, my payments come more frequently and have a more lasting value. Watching my children grow, learn, and experience life is something I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world. Being able to support my husband while he supports me back trumps any "contract" - we have covenant which never fails. I think I just might be the richest woman in America today.

The Mission Field of the home

I read two books by Sally Clarkston "The Mission of Motherhood" and "The Ministry of Motherhood" and thoroughly enjoyed them. The books were really neat in speaking softly to the voice on the inside of many mothers. While many people are not religious, please take a moment to read beyond and hear the heart of this post.
When missionary's go our into the world, they goal is to bring a message to people that have never heard it before. They understand that before people are ready to hear that message, those people must first have their basic needs met. This is why most mission trips begin with the installation of water treatment facilities, food pantries, or schools and orphanages. Once those basic needs are taken care of, people are ready and open to heart your message. This is known by both saints and tyrants. Go into any area controlled by drug lords or mobsters and you will soon find the generous donations these people make - huge investments in forgotten areas. Once they invest - they generally have safe havens for crime and a ready slew of "foot soldiers" to carry out their bidding. So, this isn't a foreign concept on any soil. Most people with hearts set on winning the lost and better the lives of people know that one must be gentle, kind, caring, compassionate, and patient. Missionary work can be hard, dangerous, at times thankless, and a full life investment. You aren't thinking about sneaking away for a day on the beach or the hole up in a five star hotel - you live right along with the people you are serving, you eat last, you go to bed last, and you bear the weight of the responsibility of the people in your care.
This is why I like the concept of seeing ones home as a mission field. These people, these children - are not born with the knowledge of your culture or customs, don't have completely innate skills for survival and the ability to thrive in their environment. It is you with the burden to first feed and clothe them, then bring them into the knowledge.
When I look at my home as my mission field - it really opened my eyes. This is my ministry, my calling, my circle of influence. My charges are three of the most beautiful, compassionate, loving, caring, and kind people in the entire earth - and I have been trusted with their care. My husband and I have been chosen - out of billions of options - to look after these three. To teach them, instruct them, guide them, develop them, and most importantly, to love them. It was then that it became clear that I was not allowed to pass this responsibility off on others. I could not subcontract this responsibility. While I might "hire out" for a couple of tasks (hey, if you can't make a water purification system - you had better make sure you have someone on the team that can) - it should be occasional. However, the end results, the day to day operations, the heart and soul of it all rests with us.

What is a child worth?

Like most of the people in this country today, I am still trying to come to terms with the "not guilty" verdict in the Casey Anthony murder trial. Most upsetting is the fact that her defense was that her precious child died "accidentally" and and she and her father hid the body - threw her baby non-apologetically in in the woods and walked away to go party and "get on" with life. Wow - that is your defense! And knowing that this defense actually set her free is making my mind spin wildly. Is this what we have come to? Are children so useless, so unloved in this society that we find it acceptable to just toss their dead bodies into creeks?
In yet, I see a lot of the value placed on children when people speak to me of my decision to come home. Why waste your gifts and talents? Waste? Really? Who best deserves my gifts and talents but my children? Who most deserves my time and my attention but my children? Who most deserves my blood, sweat, and tears buy my children?
I am investing in today and generations from now by ensuring my children are raised and educated in an environment filled with love, direction, encouragement, and yes some selfless sacrifice. I often think about the scripture in Matthew 7:11 and Luke 11:13 - "which both start with: if you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children". Wow, think about that! Being evil, or "imperfect" there was still a human condition of wanting the best for your children. We have sunk so low that we aren't even capable of that.
I have been utterly shocked and amazed by the people who find it repulsive to even consider staying home and parenting as well as educating their children. I have been told by friends and colleagues that even if they didn't work, they would still put their youngest children in daycare. They can't imagine being home with the child they birthed. So, I am less shocked in the Anthony not guilty verdict. Many people want their children out of their hair, out of their face, out of their lives - even if for only 8 - 10 hours every day.

The Fourth of July

I am always struck by the things considered "controversial" today. I actually left a FB group over the celebration of July 4th. As a proud American and born and breed member of the U.S.A., I never would have guessed people would question any American's decision to celebrate the 4th. Yes, during the first 4th there were some people still in the ugly, horrid bondage's of slavery. Given my ancestral background, it may have even been some distant relatives of mine. That is a very ugly scare on this nation's history. While we should never forget that time, lest we forget it - at some point forgiveness, acceptance, and moving on is important as well.
I never experienced the shackles of slavery, nor did my neighbors hold in their hands a whip. How can I judge them for a pain they didn't inflict, a pain I didn't experience. I have decided to let God be a judge of the past, and do what was specifically demanded of me in scripture - to LOVE my neighbor. In the twisted, meddled, and melted pot of the United States - it wouldn't be ironic to find slave owners as well as slaves in my family tree. My neighbor has just as much possibility of finding both branches in their own. Since it is impossible to sort out completely today - why not just look at each other as family. Family understands the imperfections in one another, yet chooses to love each other anyway.
So, to my homeland - with all her imperfections: Happy Independence Day. For I can't think of another place I would rather be at this moment.

Why so many love working

Okay, I am going to let people in on a little secret. I know why so many people find my decision to come home to my children so hard to grasp. Here I was, a "professional" - why would I "waste" my gift by leaving the workforce and homeschooling three little kids?
The real reason this is such a shock is because they know what I know - work is fun! No, not always the "job" part of work - the atmosphere! Work is great. Work is like high school without all the burdensome rules and homework. Plus, everyone is an adult!
Let's admit it, kids make us act better. There is just some things you don't say and don't do in front of kid. There are some conversations you just don't have and there are no kids at work. Especially work environments away from the public - oh boy!
Its not just the dishy gossip full of affairs, office romances, and "who said what". There are also the celebrations. You get cake on your birthday! As parents we know you never really get to choose your own cake flavor at home - someone is allergic to nuts, another can't stand strawberries, etc. Not so at work - everyone is an adult and if they don't like German Chocolate Cake too bad - its your birthday! Not to mention the awards and recognition for a job well done. Get a report in on time - you just might an emailing acknowledging your valiant efforts inspite of bureaucracy. Do good for a year - a glowing evaluation. Hey, there may even be money attached to it.
At work you get to great a persona for yourself that is of your own making. Finally able to leave behind the "old you" who was akward or lost being homecoming queen. No, you get to be the new and improved you. And, by the way, people even recognize when you approve a little along the way. Lose ten pounds - several people will say how good you look. Change you hair color or hair style - 10 people come by stating how nice you nice.
Yes, its hard leaving the den of self-congratulations. The place where they will be a party at least once a month with cake and lots of bad foods you would never let your children see you eating. And by the way, you get to bring in the casserole your family hates but you love!
Honestly, I knew it wouldn't be the "work" that I missed; I did wonder about missing the comrade re though.  I am a talker and I worked in an office of talkers. There were people in my office who read the same books I liked, we could talk politics and how to save the world. It was fun.

What is this about?

This is my mom story. The story that has been in the making since I delivered my first child almost six years ago. This is the journey I knew I needed to take, but didn't have the faith to start. This is the is probably the most controversial journey's a woman could travel - the journey home.
I made it look easy. You know, being "Super Woman!" PhD, great job, great husband, and babies on my hip. Yes, I could climb the corporate ladder and STILL be an amazing mom. Heck, I nursed three kids - with two of them being twins! I did the mom thing and the "Dr." thing, and the woman in charge then, and unfortunately I did them all with divided attention.No one complained, heck - even my half efforts were great. But I knew the truth, I wasn't all that super. Once it was obvious my kids needed an educational change, it was time to take the plunge. The plunge into the cool, refreshing, invigorating waters I had always been too scared to jump in to. I was coming home.
Okay, not "all" the way home. I will still teach a class or two each semester, but most will be online. But, I have turned in my corporate cape for the cape that matters most. Super Woman is so "yesterday", I have seen what I can do, what I can accomplish, when my best "work" is outside the confines of my home. I look forward to seeing what happens when I take my corporate prowess and focus it "like a laser" on my castle. I am excited about the future.
I know, most people who know me think I am crazy. You are leaving "what" to do "what"? Yes, I am leaving that to do this, and I am excited. I am ready to admit that wife and mother really are the number one priorities in my life. Oh, I "said" that a lot, but the fact that I was on my blackberry - in the operating room, while they were prepping me for a c-section to deliver my twins tells another story.
I gave the outside world my all - its was great, rewarding, and even sometimes exciting. But, it just never thrilled me as much as that little "I love you mommy" from my daughter or when my boys ran in the room to show me a snail or a worm they caught. Now THAT is exciting.
Of course, like my normal super hero self, I have to take on the whole thing - so not only am I coming home, I will also be homeschooling. But, doesn't every parent want their kids to have a PhD as a teacher? Talk about class size - with a class size of three we will be one of the most exclusive private schools in the world - LOL.
Okay, I'm a little nervous - but that never stopped me before. In fact, it usually excited me and so it is again. I walk with eyes wide open into the new journey - wish me luck!